Hari ni penuh dengan pelbagai perkara yang aku boleh simpulkan dengan satu perkataan 'leadership'. Ya berkenaan dengan hicom pre-law club. Ok secara terus terang aku mengakui aku menghadapi dilema yang perlu diputuskan sebelum 26 April kerana pada tarikh itu kami(hicom) akan berjumpa dengan Sir Zulhelmey berkenaan hicom sem depan.
Pertama sekali aku pernah menyuarakan keinginan untuk meletak jawatan. Dan aku sudah merancang untuk umumkan peletakan jawatan itu pada mesyuarat terakhir petang tadi tapi sesuatu telah mengubah keputusan aku tersebut. Ya aku meletak jawatan bukan atas desakan sesiapa ataupun kerana bertujuan untuk mendapatkan jawatan yang lebih tinggi dari sekarang tetapi aku nak letak jawatan dan tidak akan bertanding apa2 jawatan untuk semester hadapan. Aku juga bercadang untuk tidak jadi ketua projek atau penasihat untuk apa2 program semester hadapan. Tetapi jika mereka minta pendapat dan tunjuk ajar dengan berlapang dada aku sedia membantu. Lagipun personally I don't have any interest or benefit by being the hicom except some experience, knowledge,compliment and some hatred.But admitly with the opportunity to handle projects give me the chance to know more people and learn that I cannot satisfied everyone. Besides I managed to prove some of the people who doubtly with my ability to handle this and that. It managed to change others view about me from bad to good and from good to better. Because mostly people(including me) think that I win the election is not based on track record of my work and task but generally because of popularity and people who know me will vote for it. And once aku dah dapat jawatan tu aku cuma terfikir bahawa ia adalah amanah dan tanggungjawab yang mereka(pre-lawrians) berikan kat aku dan aku cuma terfikir bagaimana nak memastikan kelab ini hidup dengan aktiviti2. Aku perlu menunaikan apa yang aku ucapkan sewaktu manifesto dahulu dan aku dah berusaha sebaik mungkin untuk merealisasikannya. The perception of being elected because of glamorous or popularity had been changed to 'boleh buat kerja' and 'tak sia-sia kami pilih anda'. For sure I dont get any payment for that position hehe. Furthermore ada kerja2 yang bukan bidang aku pun aku join sama sebab the sense of responsibilty is there; how could I just stand and smile while the others are struggling or the project is going to be cancelled. Ambil contoh restu Ilmu. Who wants to take the responsibilty untuk handle sesuatu program yang hanya diberi masa kurang seminggu untuk preparation? Eventhough it had been condemned as the bad one but I had make it happen. That's the fact. What u expect from something that should be the 'huge and superb' event with the sudden change and time constraint?I take it as my mistake and same goes with the KL trip. I admit there is personal guilty I had made during the trip and minor mistake but that's my first experience to be charged 100% for trip without any guide or help because all of the pre-lawrians this semester don't have any experience to organise that. So I be the 'maker' and for sure there is still a lot of space that can be improvised.
I don't take personally about the critics and the unbelieve to me initially because at the end of my work I had done everything that I should be done. I had proved that the initial perceptions was wrong and I proved as best as I can to serve the club(tak pernah dalam sebulan aku demam dua kali).So there is no solid reason for me to resign except because of health; a lack of sleep, makin kurus(betulla Chu z baru perasan semalam), tiredness, backache sejak lawatan sampai sekarang tak baik2 lagi and extremly overexhausted. I don't resign because of afraid that my pointer will decline. Nothing to fear about that because no reason to make it decline. I will do all I have during this semester break to have the 'showtime'. I'm not saying that my popularity arouse lately because of the job I done and I even don't think about that whether people will like me or not. But when I think that I had served it well and the support is there it is the time to give chance for others people to show their talent. Tun Mahathir once did that when he resigned after our economy is recovered from crisis and when the party is solid so I also think that the best way to preserve our good image. Why we should resigned after people hate and mistrust us? I admit tak ramai orang yang sanggup berbuat demikian apatah lagi meletak jawatan apabila sudah konfirm akan mendapat jawatan lagi(malah lebih tinggi dari sekarang) untuk sem hadapan. Tapi pada aku kalau kita ikhlas dalam buat kerja apa2 perubahan pun takkan menggoncangkan perasaan kita. Sepertimana Khalid Al-Walid yang ditukarkan dari seorang panglima kepada askar biasa beliau hanya menjawab 'Aku berperang untuk Tuhannya Umar bukan kerana Umar'. Tidak ada sedikit pun rasa terhina dan tersinggung apabila beliau berperang di bawah arahan anak buahnya sendiri satu ketika dahulu.
I recalled for a new election.Not because I hate of someone in the hicom because all of us recently have a warm relationship but for me personally it is nothing to be fear of a new election because people will not vote us again because of popularity or because of our physical appearance but because of our work. They have seen us for the whole sem and they know who can delegated the job well. If we know that we have done a good job then why we should afraid of defeat in new election? That's my opinion. But there is also a bad of new election as the new one didn't know anything about the projects for next sem and have to learn a lot of things including the procedure and all that. It takes time and we don't have much time for that.Besides that the SPR chairman and vice chairman are the hicom friend and yes both of them are my best friend and if the new election will be held for us then the people will think our status quo is because of the tendency of bias. Furthermore all of us will have our own project for next sem; lawatan,annual dinner,FUU,charity,Restu Ilmu dan Interasasi.One hicom one project.I will handle the trip project.Kem Jati Diri for Part 1 will be our project which means all of us will cooperate together to organise it. So just imagine if there is a new hicom with new people who don't know anything about this? But for me the ex-hicom who lose the position in the new election still can be the advisor but once again I mentioned the new one will have the problem to learn all this kind of procedure and handle those projects. So my stand for this;new election or pewarisan, I 55% support for the pewarisan even my first stand was the new election. Not because of afraid of losing the position but I just think for the sake of the club.And the good news is that there will be biro for every exco and I also will have my own biro for trip so those who have the sense of leadership and responsibilty will be the part of the team.
I feel that i will be more sin if I let the new one handle every stuff regarding with the trip without my responsibility. 'Lepas tangan' is not my style. Yes dengan meletak jawatan akan membolehkan aku berehat dan relaks tetapi melepaskan sesuatu perkara yang perlu disetelkan kepada orang lain bukan cara aku. I once remembered what tun said 'Saya terfikir untuk meletak jawatan pada tahun 1997 tetapi pada masa itu negara kita mengalami krisis kewangan jadi saya mengambil keputusan untuk menangani krisis tersebut sebelum meletak jawatan.' The trip project will be on next sem and should I 'cuci tangan' and let the rest do my work? I may satisfied myself and fulfill my selfish call but the other side of Zharif will make me feel guilty. The sense of responsibility is there. As long as it is best for the pre-law club and for the pre-lawrians I willing to sacrifice my selfish right for the club.
How about if my pointer will not be 4.00 again?
Lol. It nothing to be done with my responsibility as the hicom of pre-law club. If it is happen then it because of my fault.Simple. Whether my memory recall is poorly work or I lazy to study will be the best answer to the question.
After all I will serve for the club. As best as I can for the sake of the pre-lawrians. Not for popularity or glamorous but because of the sense of responsibility.What the most remarkable word I get from a book is 'The leaders is being more impressed if he know what must be done behind the secenes to make the big show happen' and 'influence,popularity and inspiration come from the person not the position'.It change my entire perception about leadership and give the motivational to boost up in myself.
Another fact that I really made up of Mahathirism ;p
A good politician? Still a lot to prove that sentences suit me...